How to get over someone not liking me back

1. Why getting over someone so damn hard

There’s the age-old saying, “You never forget your first love.”

But it’s not really so much about your first relationship; it’s more about the first time you feel that kind of romantic intensity, which you might have never felt before.

And that kind of feeling is extremely rare; some of us only experience that with one or two people in our entire lives.

Ultimately, getting over someone you loved more than life itself isn’t just about getting over the loss of the relationship.

It’s about getting over the loss of that feeling, and knowing that you may never feel that same intensity again.

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12. Provide Value

To be at the top of your social skills game you’ve got to bring something to the table. Use what you know or do to be a benefit to those around, with no intention  ask for anything in return. Share what you’re good at with others and you will experience the fulfilling joy of giving.

8. Build Others Up When They Arent Around

You can tell a person’s character by how they talk about others when they aren’t around. If you know someone who is constantly talking bad behind people’s back, you can be certain they are talking negatively about you when you’re not around. Be the kind of person who speaks highly of others when they are not around.

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6. Try to stop romanticizing the relationship

“The hardest part of getting over a relationship is often not the loss of the actual person, but the loss of the fantasy of what you thought could happen,” says Dr. Juliana Morris, marriage and relationship therapist. While it’s natural after a breakup to get wrapped up in the dream, Ruotola warns, “Don’t get stuck in the obsessive loop of why and what if.” In fact, the first thing she tells anyone who needs help getting over an ex is to avoid the urge to rewrite your history together: “If you were so great together, you’d probably still be together!” she argues.

7. Reach out to loved ones

Some people tend to close themselves off when they

Some people tend to close themselves off when they’re hurt. However, if you do this, you’re only alienating yourself from the people who can comfort you and help you heal.

Author Preston Ni suggests:

“As you heal, the support and encouragement of loved ones are essential to your regeneration. Embrace the affection of friends, family, or a beloved pet (the power of healing from animals is well documented).”

Right now, relying on a solid support system is more crucial than ever.

17 ways to get over someone for good

Perhaps the most challenging part of moving on is the uncertainty whether or not you can actually get over your ex for good.

For some people, the process may even take years. If you find yourself having a hard time and seeing no progress in your moving on process, we’ve come up with 17 ways to make sure you succeed.

Here are 17 things that can help you move on from your ex for good.

13. Get out of your comfort zone

Let’s be honest, there’s not a lot of room for adventure and excitement in your comfort zone.

Understandably, your zest for life might have shrunk after he or she left you.

That’s what happened to me, but if you want to get that zest for life back, you need to do some new and scary things. Stretch your limits!

“The comfort zone is a psychological state in which one feels familiar, safe, at ease, and secure. You never change your life until you step out of your comfort zone; change begins at the end of your comfort zone.”  – Roy T. Bennett

It doesn’t have to be extreme. Even doing something that makes you a little nervous can be excellent for you.

So consider what makes you a little nervous and go about doing it.

2. Don’t be so hard on yourself

Cori Dixon-Fyle, founder and psychotherapist at Thriving Path, agrees that you shouldn’t put pressure on yourself to “feel better” about someone by a certain time. “It can cause shame” she says. “In order to move forward, you have to give yourself permission to grieve.” Instead, she encourages her patients to feel empowered by allowing yourself the space and vulnerability to feel your feelings.

5. Take a step up in your next relationship

Figure out what wasn’t working in your relationship, and make sure that the next person you date doesn’t have that quality. “You’ll notice there’s a reason you broke up with the person, then you know that you’re just not going to tolerate that going forward, so you’re going to choose with that in mind,” Sherman explains. “Then the next relationship, you won’t have to deal with that.”

It can help to have something to look forward to. Photo: Malte Mueller/Getty Images/fStop

❤ More tips

We still have a few extra tips in store for you that can help.

Looking for help

There is no shame in seeking help. If you’re just not feeling better and you can’t pull yourself out of it on your own, you might want to seek professional help. Therapy can help you a lot, even if it’s expensive. But your health should be worth it to you.

If this is too extreme for you, your GP can certainly help you. There are a few prescription drugs that can help relieve heartache. Also, your GP may be able to write you sick from your job so you can focus on yourself.

How do you forget someone?

Don’t fool yourself. We both know that you will likely never forget the person. You have to be aware of this. The only thing you can do is distract yourself until the memories of the person no longer hurt you.

Friendship with the ex

If you are so suffering from the breakup, I would advise against remaining friends with your ex. But if you still absolutely want that, then there should still be no contact for some time so that you can get over the person. Otherwise, you’ll keep tearing up old wounds.

In addition, you must then not remain friends with the thought that something might arise between you again. Because then you have to be careful not to accidentally end up in the friend zone. Never let yourself and your feelings be exploited. So you have to be free of any romantic feelings before something like friendship can work between the two of you.

Children

If you have children together, then it becomes more difficult – also the last point. Then you are more or less obliged to see your ex from time to time what will hurt again and again.

So it is your duty to get over the breakup like an adult. Follow the tips in this article and try to get over the end of your relationship as best you can. The most important thing is that your children don’t suffer more than necessary.

How to deal with jealousy

If your ex has someone new by their side already, it can be very painful. It is therefore important that as long as you are suffering from the breakup, you have no contact with the person. So, mute the person on social media and avoid them as best you can in reality.

If none of that works, you have to work on yourself. Jealousy is not a must-have feeling. Grant the person their happiness, be happy for them, as hard as that may sound.

Making your ex jealous

This is a big nono! If you do it unconsciously, then you can’t help it. But if you are deliberately aiming to hurt your ex by making them jealous, then you should be ashamed of yourself. Small children do this, not grown-ups. You’re just showing that you’re immature.

It also hurts the person you’re trying to make your ex jealous of. Humans are not tools, but sentient beings with feelings. You should know best.

Getting your ex back

Personally, I would advise against trying to get your ex back, but of course, there are a number of reasons why you don’t want to give up on them. And I understand that.

Sometimes you just have the feeling that you can’t live without your ex. But that’s total nonsense. Of course, you could try to get your ex back but expect an uphill battle. I would recommend you just accept that it is over. Many people want you to fight for them after a breakup, but that won’t alleviate the pain, it can only increase it. But it is your decision.

The breakup probably had a good reason. And if the two of you are unwilling to work on yourselves and your problems, a comeback would be completely wrong. If so, then you would have to start over from scratch. So again to take notes: It’s over. Accept that. There is nothing you can do about it.

We wish you the best of luck and success in overcoming your breakup. You can do it!

✍️  September 12, 2020

Getting Over Someone Requires New Sources of Meaning

Surrounding yourself with people who truly care about you is probably one of the most common pieces of advice for getting over someone. It’s great advice, but it’s not because you’ll just start to “feel better” and then forget about the fact that, oh yeah, you’re going to be sleeping alone tonight, aren’t you? And it’s also not because these people provide an outlet for you to work through the failed relationship out loud, though that doesn’t hurt.

No, the real reason is that connecting/reconnecting with people who care about you will start to add meaning back into your life, the meaning that was so abruptly pulled out from underneath you like a cheap dining room rug.

In order to restore that meaning through reconnecting with people, however, you need to make it about more than just you and your past failed relationship. Yes, you need time to vent and to figure things out, and having someone there for that is helpful. But you can’t start to rebuild meaning in your life until you take the time to cultivate relationships that are separate and distinct from your old relationship and your old self.

3. Structure your days

Sherman says that this can be a catch-22, especially at the beginning, since you do want to set aside time to grieve. Grieving shouldn’t be the main part of your day, though. “It’s helpful to keep busy and to structure your days in the beginning, just so that you’re not wallowing all the time,” Sherman explains.

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